Dear Readers,
When I started off on my journey to write this memoir, I was told that a good memoir shouldn’t have too many characters. In my case, this was an easy rule to follow because I was truly a lone soldier up against forces much more powerful than me in a harrowing fight to save my own life. But in the end, I realized that this was a journey I was supposed to walk alone, as I would come to learn that my fight was about so much more than saving my physical life, rather it was a fight to save my mind and soul that somehow got lost along the way.
It all started in March of 2020 in NYC (the epicenter of the COVID-19 crisis) when I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer only to be subsequently denied treatment due to the government takeover of private healthcare—something that should strike fear in anybody who believes in bodily autonomy, and our inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, or quite frankly, anyone that has been to the offices of the United States Postal Service, Department of Motor Vehicles, or any other government institution for that matter. While some of the best hospital in New York were forced to prioritize and prepare for COVID-19 patients before they even showed up, beds and ventilators sat empty, all while my breast cancer cells were growing, multiplying and perhaps even moving to other areas of my body.
Time is the biggest weapon we have in beating cancer, and time would be the one weapon that was being stolen from me by a force so much more powerful. This theft would lead to an all-out war where it would just be ME, MYSELF, and I against CANCER, COVID, CUOMO (NY State Governor, Andrew Cuomo) and CORRUPTION—a war in which my underdog odds were as bad as they get.Â
This war would be the ultimate test of my strength, resilience, and determination where, through my singlehanded fight for justice to free my own body against the slimy grip of corrupt politicians, my true self would be revealed as an undeniable testament to the characteristics that are core to who I am as a person.
However, what I don’t think a lot of people realize is that while being a strong, resilient, fighter looks one way on the outside, it feels completely different on the inside. It is extremely hard, exhausting, frustrating, overwhelming, lonely, and all-encompassing, to say the least. Very often, I didn’t even realize that I was being strong, because on the inside I felt anything but.
But had it not been for these characteristics, I might not be here to tell you my story. The single most important thing I have learned throughout my life is that you have to be your own biggest advocate. You cannot rely on anyone else to fight on your behalf, as much as you might want to believe differently. Sure, you will have people in your corner (maybe lots of them), but the sole responsibility for the outcome of your life lies solely within YOU. This experience has taught me that while it may feel very lonely at times, you have way more way power and control over your life than you might believe. I promise. I give gratitude every day that I know and live by this Universal Truth.
While writing this memoir has been one of the most extremely challenging projects I’ve ever taken on (as someone with a neuro-sensational brain, more commonly known as ADHD) I am so glad and grateful I persevered because it was through a concerted effort to relive each and every life altering event through a journey that could have easily spanned several years but for me, was packed into a period of just 8 weeks, that I would come to realize just how crazy and incredible my journey actually was. In all honesty, had I not actually lived through this horror roller coaster ride myself, I would find it hard to believe in a… you just can’t make it up sort of way.
So, buckle up as I take you through my story about achieving empowerment through pain, enlightenment through struggle, and self-perseverance through tears, and ultimately, how CANCER and COVID actually saved my life because upon powerful reflections of my epic journey, I came to the realization that my entire fight would not only end up saving my physical life, but would end up saving my soul and truly helping me find my way back to ME.
May my journey be someone else’s guide, not only to survive, but to thrive.
